glitter in the air

do you feel held?

have you felt cared for?

when was the last time someone washed your hair? touched your arm gently, mindlessly, softly

oh.

did you cry? a silent, steady tear falling down your cheek as your heart beat as though you had two, jumping in eagerness, yearning, disbelief

did your eyes well up? flooding with awe that someone could be so tender to you

to me?

to you.

you deserve this, somewhere in the back of your mind whispers, and you think you might believe it

i deserve this.

you do.

you do.

have you ever been touched so gently you had to cry?

you think you gasp as you realize you understand now what that song is about. what all the songs are about

your forehead creases at the thought of glitter. it’s much more ethereal than that.

it’s far too tangible, it should be more like haze

like something otherworldly

like something divine.

because you think you believe in god when arms wrap around you.

you see yourself in what you think must be the future, but could be the present. could be now. could be anytime, really. time doesn’t mean anything anymore because you think you might finally be home

you see yourself, you see them. together. waiting for you. sitting in the garden, clutching your coffee

you don’t drink coffee, but you would, you would. to have them clutch it like they’re clutching you now. like you are warm and safe and heavenly

they haven’t spoken, but you hear their words through their touch. calling you sugar. calling you loved. calling you home.

you ask them to wash your hair, and they do. they wash the ache and oil out with a tender touch, and oil has never mixed well with water and now you’re drowning, drowning, drowning in a waterfall of their reverence

do you feel cared for?

do you feel held?

when is the last time you’ve felt at peace?

you close your eyes

exhale

mmm.

it is now, it is now, it is now